Your dog has taken Intermediate Animal Acting...twice, but still no breakthrough role.
You keep trying to schedule a play date with your dog and the neighbor's pot-bellied pig but you're just too busy.
You've complained about cell service at the off-leash dog park.
While at work, you've watched videos of your dog playing at doggy day care.
You've driven the dog 10 miles to "see and be seen" Runyon Canyon for a celebrity-spotting hike (and spent 15 minutes looking for parking) instead of walking her in your own neighborhood.
You have considered asking your medical marijuana doctor to label the dog as an "emotional support dog" so she can go into Whole Foods Market and Target with you instead of waiting at home.
You've used dog-sitting services at the local farmer's market so you could pay too much for organic apple butter and handmade soap.
You take the dog to Olvera Street every year on the Saturday before Easter for the Blessing of the Animals.
You've brought the dog to a screenplay writing class you bought through Groupon.
You underwent a background check and two home checks to adopt your chi-weenie/labradoodle mix from a local rescue group.